


this terrible hope

by hydrochaeris



Series: spiderweb [2]
Category: The Get Down (TV)
Genre: Defining the Relationship, Multi, Pre-OT3, shao is like really gay but no one is judging him for it i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 17:46:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10313666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hydrochaeris/pseuds/hydrochaeris
Summary: Shao talks to Mylene.





	

Shao really couldn’t remember the last time he’d been in church. Too much of his time had been eaten away by being sinful, he guessed. And that wasn’t helping him feel any less out of place here.

“Hey,” he said, testing out his voice in the space, not even audible over the congregants all talking and filing out, each one receiving a blessing from Mylene’s dad as they went. Shao could see Mylene over by the piano, talking with her girls. It was damn lucky Zeke wasn’t around, because Shao wouldn’t’ve been able to keep his cool if he’d seen those two together—doing their thing—before he had to say his piece.

And speaking of that.

“Is that Shaolin Fantastic?” one of Mylene’s friends said, way too loud, and Mylene smacked her shoulder with the back of her hand, not even looking Shao’s way.

“’Gina, aren’t you supposed to tell the truth in church?”

“Oh, she ain’t lying,” Shao said, figuring that was good an entrance as any. He leaned up against the piano and took in Mylene’s anger. He could see the beauty even through that—all the beauty Zeke loved to twist into rhyme and rhythm. Well, you’d be fucking stupid not to see it. But it’d been a long time since Shao’d really looked at a girl. He sometimes thought he flew too fast to see anyone really.

That had been before he met Zeke.

“What’re you doing here?” Mylene said, shooting a glance over to her father. Clearly he was the only reason she wasn’t cussing Shao out. And also they were in church.

“I wanted to talk to you,” Shao said awkwardly. “Uh. Alone.” He glanced at Mylene’s girls, who pursed their lips and did not budge.

“Okay,” Mylene said, drawing the word out. “Sure. Let’s go around the corner.”

“She’s gonna fuck you up,” said the girl who’d spoken earlier, voice still projecting like it had its own personal boom box.

“Regina! We in church!”

Mylene took Shao’s wrist and dragged him out and down to the sidewalk without another word. Then she stood tall, arms folded and gaze terrifying—not that Shao’d ever admit it.

“So speak.”

“I, uh.” Shao rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. He could feel himself starting to get warm around the ears, and it wasn’t from the high noon sun approaching its peak in the sky. “I wanted to talk to you about Zeke.”

Mylene snorted. “Of course you do. He’s the only thing we got in common.”

“Right.” Damn, Dizzee had made this seem way easier when he’d laid the whole plan out for Shao. Probably to hype him up so he’d actually follow through with the plan instead of run away from his feelings. Fucking Rumi. “Yeah, okay, so. You can’t tell anyone about this. I’ll kill you if you tell anyone.”

“Mm _hmm_.” Mylene rolled her eyes. Why did that line work on high class criminals and drug addicts, but not a teenage girl?

“I—” Shao shut his eyes like that’d help anything. “I got—I got feelings for Zeke.”

His eyes were still closed tight, but he heard Mylene’s intake of breath. She hadn’t slapped him yet. That could be a good sign. Or a sign that she was getting her arm in the perfect position to hit the shit out of him.

“Like, how _I_ got feelings for Zeke?”

Shao opened his eyes. Mylene didn’t looked grossed out or angry. She just looked confused as hell.

“Uh, yeah, that’s what I said.”

“Don’t get smart with me,” she warned. “I’m tryna figure this out.”

“There’s nothing to figure out,” Shao snapped. “He’s your man, I’m just telling you because I—because—” Oh fuck, he sounded so fucking stupid. How do you tell a girl you told her you like her man because you were hoping it would give you a shot at having him?

You don’t.

Shao shut his mouth and glared at the pavement.

“Because you _what_?”

Shao shook his head, refusing to look at her. “I just—I thought you should know.”

“Bullshit,” Mylene said. “What, you want my permission to have him or something? You already got him running around in fucked up places. You don’t respect me enough to believe I’m good for him. Well, I am good for Zeke. That’s why we’re fucking together. You got him with the Get Down Brothers. You don’t need him more than that.”

“But I do,” Shaolin blurted. “I wanna—I just want a chance with him, it sounds fucking bad, okay? At least I didn’t fucking go behind your back with it! I was just trying to be honest.” He pulled his hat down firmer over his head, wincing at how pathetic his words sounded. “God, never mind. I can just go.”

“Don’t leave.” Mylene’s words cut into him and kept him there. He risked a glance at her face—she looked torn. Upset, but not mad like she’d been. “How would—how would this _relationship_ work? If you were to have a chance with Zeke?”

Shao bit his lip. “I guess we’d just both be with him. Us two wouldn’t have to be together like that. Just you could be with him some of the time, and I could be with him some of the time. Like it is now. I dunno.”

Mylene stayed silent a minute. Shao felt his legs trying to tremble underneath him and stood his ground. Finally she took in a breath through her nose. “Okay.”

“Oka—”

“I hope you know,” she said, eyes piercing, “that I’m only doing this because of Zeke. Because—” Mylene lowered her voice, eyes turning sad. “I know my love ain’t enough for him. I’m good for him, but I’m not good _enough_. And I know you agree Ezekiel Figuero deserves every bit of love the world got to offer him.” Shao nodded. “So I guess you a part of that world. So I guess I give you a chance.”

She sighed, and Shao saw for the first time the bags under her lively eyes, the frown wrinkles that came too easily to the young smoothness of her face.

“I’m busy. I split my time between Manhattan and Zeke. No,” she said, seeing the question in Shao’s face, “not the Bronx. I’m only here still ‘cause of him and my girls. And once we get enough money for a bigger apartment, we all staying together. It’s not enough for him.” Mylene tilted her head almost childlike, contrasting her serious expression. “You better take care of him. I’ve seen how he looks at you. That’s the other reason I’m agreeing.”

Shao couldn’t focus on her words after that—too caught up in what she’d said about Zeke looking at him. That couldn’t be true, right? Shao spent too much time looking at Zeke as it was—he’d know if Zeke looked back.

Right?

He thought of Zeke smiling, laughing, letting his fingers drag on Shao’s skin innocently—he didn’t know how many of those times Zeke had been looking at him.

No, that was a lie. It was overwhelmingly clear in his mind—every single glance they’d ever shared, every single touch that’d given Shao this terrible hope in the first place. It was just all those memories rising up in him were like the sun, and they burned behind his eyes.

Shao could cry on Dizzee one time, but he was not about to cry in front of Mylene.

“Hey,” he said, realizing he wasn’t interrupting, that Mylene’d just been looking at him tentatively for god knew how long now, “thank you, Mylene.”

She smiled, chin up. “You’re welcome. And one more thing—now I know you know my name for sure. So don’t ever call me a bitch again.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> again feedback is welcome in the comments! also i made a sideblog for the get down @dizzeeshao, hmu there :)


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